And I might be okay, but I'm not fine at all...

Tuesday, 30 October 2012

And I might be okay, but I'm not fine at all...

IT'S BEEN FOREVER!

I've been so crazy busy with just everything. Blah. So much has been going on... Yikes.

So, this is a HUGE post! Leave some love!

Oh, and Happy Halloween! Anyone have any good costumes?

One may think we're alright but we need pills to sleep at night. We need lies to make it through the day. We're not okay.

-Pills by The Perishers

If you expect the worst, the worst will happen. You are your own stress, your own anger, your own saddness, your own frustration. If you let things bother you, they will. So don't let them. Just be happy. Nothing in life is easy, so make the best of it all. Don't dwell on the negatives. Optimism is key.

Maybe your first love is the one that sticks with you because it’s the only person who will ever receive all of you. After that, you learn better. But, most of all, no matter what, a piece of you forever remains left behind in the heart of the one you loved - a piece no future lover could ever get, no matter what. That piece holds innocence, the belief that love really can last forever. It holds friendship and pain, trial and error, that one kiss you’ll never forget and that night under the stars you can never get back. It holds youth and everything you thought love would be, everything that was proven wrong.

I think you're one of those people who everyone falls in love with, even for a tiny bit.

There is an inner beauty about a woman who believes in herself, who knows she is capable of anything she puts her mind to. There is a beauty in the strength and determination of a woman who follows her own path, who isn't thrown off by obstacles along the way. There is a beauty about a woman whose confidence comes from experiences - who knows she can fall, pick herself up, and go on.

“Real life is a funny thing, you know. In real life, saying the right thing at the right moment is beyond crucial. So crucial, in fact, that most of us start to hesitant for fear of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. But lately what I’ve begun to fear more than that is letting the moment pass without saying anything. I think you deserve to look back on your life without this chorus of resounding voices saying, ‘I could’ve but it’s too late now’. So there’s a time for silence, and there’s a time for waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say, you’ll know it. I don’t think you should wait. I think you should Speak Now.”

Sometimes I sit and run scenarios through my mind of how life would be if we were together.

There's an old poem by Neruda that I’ve always been captivated by, and one of the lines in it has stuck with me ever since the first time I read it. It says "love is so short, forgetting is so long." It's a line I’ve related to in my saddest moments, when I needed to know someone else had felt that exact same way. And when we're trying to move on, the moments we always go back to aren't the mundane ones. They are the moments you saw sparks that weren't really there, felt stars aligning without having any proof, saw your future before it happened, and then saw it slip away without any warning. These are moments of newfound hope, extreme joy, intense passion, wishful thinking, and in some cases, the unthinkable letdown. And in my mind, every one of these memories looks the same to me. I see all of these moments in bright, burning, red.

Not every girl wants to be in a relationship. Some just want good company, a guy to vibe with, converse with and laugh with. Not in a rush, start off simple, and let the rest find itself. Having someone to talk to and feeling comfortable around them is beautiful, and it's a good feeling.

Sometimes we expect more from others becausewe would be willing to do that much for them.

You were always a hot subject, always on people's lips. I had you there once. That was an even hotter subject. People always seemed to have something to say about us, or maybe it just about me, you engaging with me. After all, I was just me, not up to your typical standards. But i was made to believe I was better. I don't think that anymore.

It's just that I learned a while ago that the best way to get people to like you is not to like them too much.

That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself another drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.

Strong people make as many ghastly mistakes as weak people. The difference is that strong people admit them, laugh at them, and learn from them. That is how they become strong.

Maybe we just obsess over relationships that feel unfinished.

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.

We love each other, that's true whatever it means, but we aren't good at it; for some it's a talent, for others only an addiction.

-Dancing Girls by Margaret Atwood

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit. Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss. You know, it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this. Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand? Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am? There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance to look into your eyes and see you looking back.

-Hurt by Christina Aguilera

Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.

I guarantee that you will never break me, because I have been broken to the point of no return. And not even you could hurt me as badly as he did.

You are the books you read, the films you watch, the music you listen to, the people you meet, the dreams you have, and the conversations you engage in. You are what you take from these. You are the sound of the ocean, the breath of fresh air, the brightest light and the darkest corner. You are a collective of every experience you have had in your life. You are every single day. So drown yourself in a sea of knowledge and existence. Let the words run through your veins and let the colors fill your mind.

I know in the back of my mind that life would be so much easier if I never talked to you again. If I shut you out of my life and moved on, I could finally get over you. But you're the only thing that makes me happy, whether it's right or wrong and I don't have the strength to give up on that.

My heart didn't break into a thousand pieces after he left. But I did realize something. I realized all the things he didn't do. He didn't want to hear my stories. He didn't ask me questions. He didn't smile when I was talking to him. He didn't hurt me out of the blue to make me feel good. His hugs were always a preamble to something else and after he was gone, I wondered if he ever knew me at all.

And maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much. But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up. Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well. And you call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest. I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here 'cause I remember it all too well.