Friday, 19 October 2012
So, this week has been... interesting to say the least. The week actually flew by which Im surprised at, I thought this week would feel endless. Tomorrow is "Family weekend" at my college so my family is coming down to visit. We'll see how this goes...
Have you ever felt like you're falling apart but you don't really mind because you're having a good time? I can't really describe how I'm doing right now, it's hard to explain. I'm just very overwhelmed and my anxiety has been much worse lately. But I take it a day at a time and I have some of the most amazing friends here so I know I can make it through whatever I'm going through right now.
I'm tired of trying to figure life out, so I'm just going with the flow. And that is so much easier than trying to change things that are out of your control and trying to have everything go perfect... Because the majority of the time, nothing happens the way you expect it to. And I think that's what makes life interesting. People need to learn how to just live, and to take it day by day.
Well, I hope you enjoyed that little rant (if you actually even read it) but I figured I'd just write about what I'm thinking about right now...
Hope everyone had a good week! Thank God it's the weekend... I love the weekends.
Enjoy the post! It's a big one since I haven't been updating as much as I'd like to be.. I just get so busy!
Life is funny. It's funny how the simplest things can knock us off our feet; the perfect gust of wind, driving down country roads with the windows down, seeing someone you love smile, being where you feel right, skinny dipping at midnight while the moon shines, letters from old friends...and yet, these simple things, remind us why we live.
It's not the breakup that hurts the most, it's the post trauma that follows it. It is waking up and checking your phone for the messages that isn't there. It's like starting your life over again and you have no idea where to begin.
Never be afraid to fall apart because it is an opportunity to rebuild yourself the way you wish you had been all along.
When I was a little girl I used to read fairy tales. In fairy tales you meet Prince Charming and he's everything you ever wanted. In fairy tales the bad guy is very easy to spot. The bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is. Then you grow up and you realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought. You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he's not easy to spot; he's really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair.
One of my favorite things in the world is meaningful nonsense. Sometimes you read something or see something that you don't really understand, but it really speaks to you. You may not know what it means, but you know it's meaningful, and that it has changed you forever.
"A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with the wrong ones."
I don't know why we all hang on to something we know we're better of letting go. It's like we're scared to lose what we don't really have. Some of us say we'd rather have that then nothing at all, but the truth is; to have it half way is harder then not having it all.
The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You don't blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the President. You realize that you control your own destiny.
It's not that girl's are delusional, per se. It's just that they have this subtle ability to warp actual circumstances into something different. And if there's one thing I'm really against, it's turning a blind eye to reality. What's the point? things are the way they are, and the best thing for us to do is acknowledge that. No one ever died from having too much information. It's the misunderstandings that are the problem.
I think about the problem with running from your trouble. The problem is in the stopping. The whole time you think you're getting away from everything, the trouble is running like mad, too, trying to catch up with you. And it doesn't slow down when you do - it keeps on sprinting. So when trouble finally reaches you, it hits you hard.
-The Cupcake Queen by Heather Hepler
I've learned to take a step back and stop trying to understand all the "why's" and "how come's" that go along with this world and this life. I've learned that sometimes you just have to say "Fuck it" and just live.
“It’s alright to occasionally look back at the past but it’s not alright to live in it.”
I'm not shooting for a "successful" relationship at this point, I'm just looking for something that will prevent me from throwing myself in front of a bus.
I just thought to myself that in the palm of my hand, there was this one tape that had all these memories and feelings and great joy and great sadness. Right there in the palm of my hand. And I thought about how many people had loved those songs. And how many people got through a lot of bad times because of those songs. And how many people enjoyed good times with those songs. And how much those songs really mean. I think it would have been great to have written one of those songs. I bet if I wrote one of them, I would be very proud. I hope the people who wrote those songs are happy. I hope they feel it's enough. I really do because they've made me happy. And I'm only one person.
- The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
I think you might be confusing me with one of those sad girls who will wait for a guy to chose.
There is beauty in endings, even if we don't want to admit it at the time. Remember, we are always in awe of the beauty of a sunset, as it takes away the light of the day we knew. We know the sun will rise again, we know the stars will guide us through the darkness of the night. Life isn't much different than the scenes it plays before our eyes. Things will get brighter again.
I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time--sometimes too long--waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.