Thursday, 13 September 2012
Hello all... Happy Thursday! Tomorrow is Friday!
Not much to say... I go home this weekend! I'm excited to see my family and to eat food that wasn't made in my cafeteria!
Not much to say... Things are looking better, even though there are still some things that are just shit. I'm just tired of dealing with issues. Like, when does this end? When can I just catch a fricken break? Why does something have to always pop up or why does someone always have to be broken or hurt or lost or addicted or depressed or just... not okay. I don't know blahhhhhhh.
Alright, well, enjoy the post! Thanks for the amazing feedback lately, keep it up :]
It's when you're dialing six numbers just to hang up the phone; Driving across town just to see if he's home; Waking a friend in the dead of night, just to hear 'em say it's going to be alright; When your finding things to do not to fall asleep 'cause you know he'll be there in your dreams... That's when he's more than a memory.
"You'll find another."
"God! Banish the thought. Why don't you tell me that 'if the girl had been worth having she'd have waited for you'?
"No, sir, the girl really worth having won't wait for anybody."
-This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald
It’s one of those things people say. ‘You can’t move on until you let go of the past.’ Letting go is the easy part, it’s the moving on that’s painful. So sometimes we fight it, trying to keep things the same. Things can’t stay the same though. At some point you just have to let it go. Move on. Because no matter how painful it is, it’s the only way we grow.It's the choice that you have to wake up every day and say, 'There's no reason today can't be the best day of my life'.
I want to be the girlfriend, not the friend, not the confidant, not the other woman, not the friend with benefits, not the second choice. I want to be the one who is loved, held, and who gets the phone calls at night and the cute surprises, the kisses on the forehead and the 'I miss you's'. I want it all.
"When I was playing Mystique in X-Men, I remember thinking, 'If I'm going to be naked in paint in front of the entire world, I'm going to look like a woman. I'm going to have curves and have boobs and have a butt.' Because girls are going to look at that, and if I look like a scarecrow, they are going to think, 'Oh, that's normal'. It's not normal. I'm just so sick of these young girls with diets. I remember when I was 13 and it was cool to pretend to have an eating disorder because there were rumors that Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie were anorexic. I thought it was crazy. I went home and told my mom, 'Nobody's eating bread--I just had to finish everyone's burgers'. I think it's really important for girls to have people to look up to and feel good about themselves."
I just want you to hug me one more time. Because the thing that scares me most in this world, is that I'll never feel that safe again.
Always be yourself. Never try to hide who you are. The only shame is to have shame. Always stand up for what you believe in. Always question what other people tell you. Never regret the past...it's a waste of time. There's a reason for everything; every mistake, every moment of weakness, every terrible thing that happened to you. Grow from it. The only way you can get the respect of others is when you show them that you respect yourself. And most important, do your thing and never apologize for being you.
If she only knew how he wished for her to notice him in class, how he showed off at all the sports in an attempt to catch her eye, or how he had written many letters to express his feeling for her, ripping them in half before they were even complete. The world puts so much focus on broken hearted girls, but what about the guys?
I know that I should just move on because I might not ever see you again. But I still have that little hope that in a few years we will end up in the same place, and finally get our chance.
I'll take a shot for my pain, a drag for my sorrow. Get messed up today, be okay tomorrow.
Please know there are much better things in life than being lonely or liked or bitter or mean or self-conscious. We are all full of shit. Go love someone just because. I know your heart may be badly bruised, or even the victim of numerous knifings, but it will always heal. Even if you don't want it to, it keeps going. There are the most fantastic, beautiful things and people out there, I promise. It is up to you to find them.
When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.
I like the stars. It’s the illusion of permanence, I think. I mean, they’re always flaring up and caving in and going out. But from here, I can pretend… I can pretend that things last. I can pretend that lives last longer than moments. Gods come, and gods go. Mortals flicker and flash and fade. Worlds don’t last; and stars and galaxies are transient, fleeting things that twinkle like fireflies and vanish into cold and dust. But I can pretend.
I want to go back to when you were still here but I can't.
I was stuck. I was in this place, in between my future and my past, and I wasn't sure which one I wanted more. But I guess it was only natural, you know? To dream of a summer love from long ago, or nights you spent with friends you used to know. These people had long since gone, and part of you wanted them back, and God you hated to admit it. That was the funny part. Like admitting you missed people or things or times long ago made you weak or something, but it didn't. And sometimes I would curl up by my window and stare off into the stars, dreaming of my future, the love and friends I had yet to come. Part of me just wanted to throw myself into the future and the other part wanted me to hurl myself into my past.
Yesterday you were better off than you are today but it took today for you to realize it. But today has arrived and it’s too late. You see? People are never happy with what they have. They want what they had, or what others have. The grass is always greener on the other side.
I didn’t lose him. I let him go. I didn’t get over him. I moved on. When you truly love someone, you never lose them or get over them. They’ll always mean something to you.
Despite it all, I couldn't hate him. And in a bizarre, surprising way, all I wanted to do was see him. Or at very least, set about changing his opinion of me.