Saturday, 01 September 2012

• I'm alive but I'm losing all my drive...

  

  You shouldn't miss someone who doesn't miss you, right? Or maybe he does miss me... But probably not as much as I miss him. He's with some other girl but says he'd rather be with me... I'm just confused and lost. This isn't helping the other situation I'm going through... I just don't know how to feel so I decided to just not feel. It's better to be numb, than to feel hurt all the time, right? Ugh. I just don't know what to do anymore. 

  Hope everyone had a great week and will have a fun three day weekend, woot woot! 

  Thank you so much for all the amazing feedback on my last post! It means so much to me! Keep it up!

   

   

  Everyone has the heartbreak that shapes them in a way that they could never  go back to the innocence they had before.

   

  

   

   

  “I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life. I know you’ll be a sun in somebody else’s sky. But why can’t it be mine?“
  

   

  

   

   

   And doesn't that sound familiar? Doesn't that hit too close to home? Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could've gone? And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more? And so that I do remember to never go that far, could you leave me with a scar?

   

   

  

   

   

  Bad stuff does happen sometimes. always remember that, but remember that you have to move on, somehow. you just pick up your head and stare at something beautiful like the sky or the ocean, and you'll move the hell on.

   

  

   

  I'm not saying I have nothing. I'm not saying I'm gone completely. It's just sometimes it's all a bit too much to handle. Sometimes I feel like it's too much. I'm not going to do anything stupid because I know it will get better, it has to right? Otherwise there wouldn't be anyone who would live past their teenage years. But for now, just for now, it hurts.

   

  

   

  I can't tell anymore when I'm asleep and when I'm awake, or which is worse.

   

  

   

  Don’t you realize what you are to me, and what you’re always going to be? Everyone else is going to be second best. There’ll never be another you.

   

  

   

  The world is rarely the way it is suppose to be. And given the chance, we don't have to wait for someone to make messes of our lives; We do a good enough job ourselves.

   

  

   

  "It’s well and fine to flirt with disaster, as long as you just remember not to fall into bed with it."
  

   

  

   

  I am a fake. I claim to believe in love, know what love is, and be a hopeless romantic. Maybe I used to be, but it died. I don't feel the butterflies whenever I watch any movie, television show, etc. about love. Instead I use my typical fictious smile and pretend to be swept off my feet like I used to. I lost it because of him. I will never get it back because I am stuck without him. Without love, without happiness, without life. It's okay. He's happy. That's all that matters.

   

  

   

  When I go for a drive I like to pull off to the side of the road, turn out the lights, get out and look up at the sky. I do this to remind me that I'm really, really tiny in the grand scheme of things and sometimes this terrifies me.

   

   

  

   

   

  Through my tears, I could hear him saying how it was all going to be okay, and I knew he believed this. But I was sure of something too: It’s a lot easier to be lost than found. It’s the reason we’re always searching, and rarely discovered. So many locks, not enough keys.
  

   

   

  

   

   

  “Let’s slow dance and be the couple everyone wishes they could be; let’s look at the stars and kiss all night long; let’s take stupid pictures and laugh until we can’t breathe. Let’s be forever, you and me.”

   

   

  

   

   

  Whoever said the quote about having no regrets in life has obviously never gotten drunk and picked up a cell phone.

   

  

   

  I just want to know if you meant everything you said. I don’t’ want you back, I don’t want an apology, I just want the truth. I want to know if what we had was even worth fighting for in the first place. I want to know if I cross your mind, I want to know if you realize how much you messed up; I just want you to miss me.

   

  

   

  After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So you plant your own  garden and decorate your own soul, instead of  waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure it,  you really are strong, you really do have worth. And you learn and you learn. With every goodbye, you learn.

   

  

   

  Flying is simple. Not hitting the ground is hard.

   

  

   

  All that I ever wanted was to be worth something, worth something to someone, worth their time, their energy, love, their money, worth someone’s everything, but I always seem to come up short.

   

  

   

  I think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them that no one else gets to see. Like if you followed them around invisibly for a day and you saw them crying in their bed at night or singing to themselves as they make a sandwich or even just walking along the street and even if they were really weird and had no friends at school, I think after seeing them at their most vulnerable you wouldn’t be able to help falling in love with them.
  

   

  

   

   

  “All the love’s still there. I just don’t know what to do with it now.”
  

   

  

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