Sunday, 26 August 2012
It was 94 degrees here today... WHY IS IT STILL SO DAMN HOT? I hate the heat. Fall is the best time. I have such cute fall clothes but I can't wear them because it's still a billion degrees here. That needs to stop ASAP. Ugh. Heat. Shmehhhhh. I just want Fall to be here already.
So, I'm trying to drop my anatomy class because it's already impossible. I don't want to go into the medical field so I don't see why I have to take the damn class. So, hopefully I can drop the class. But if I can't I'll fail it so I don't know what will happen then... Oh well.
Hmm, so yeah college is weird. I miss my home and I miss my friends. I don't really like any of the girls here- except for a couple who are really sweet and nice. I don't know, it's just weird.
Anyway, here's a big post because I didn't feel like doing my homework. Leave some feedback please!
When we were young we thought life was a game. But then somebody leaves you and you're never the same. All of the places and people belong to the puzzle but one of the pieces is gone and it's you.
Give me the whole truth, give me your best excuse because I just wasted my last wish on you. and lately I've been looking down. It could be because it's getting colder or that I'm getting older. And I watch the trees as they lose their leaves. They're just like me, I'm losing everything. I'm looking for something. I'm looking for anything at all. I'm looking for closure, false hope, or something to hold onto when I fall. And I don't want to give up but lately it seems I'm down on my luck. So give me something to believe in because I'm losing it all.
If I've learned anything in life, it is that sometimes things get in your path and you have a choice: you can either smash right into them, or you can adjust and move around, but you have to do one or the other in order to move forward.
"It has taken me a long time to accept who you are and who you will never be."
"To forget the past, you stop the communication, you throw every piece of bad memory, you delete stupid pictures. It's not about being bitter. It's just being fair enough to the next person who will try to be the one for you."
Most people carry that pain around inside them their whole lives, until they kill the pain by other means, or until it kills them. But you, my friends, you found another way: a way to use the pain. To burn it as fuel, for light and warmth. You have learned to break the world that has tried to break you.
Sometimes I find myself running from love. I want to push anyone away who tries.. because honestly, I'd feel horrible if anyone had to deal with the fucked up mess I am. To be with me would be a chore. Maybe at first they wouldn't see it; maybe they wouldn't want to. But I am nothing great. I'm just a girl with a lot of heart, no direction, and barely any stability. So for anyone who wants to try, I'll deny you, and deny you again. I'm saving you a tremendous burden, trust me. "Please, don't love me" is all you'll hear from me. I'm better off alone. I've been so good at it, how could I stop now?
I just want people to know that when it came down to it I didn’t really need anyone but myself.
Sometimes I watch the world go by, I wonder what it's like to wake up every single day, smile on your face. You never tried. We both know we can't change it but we both know we'll just have to face it. We both know that I'm not over you. I'm not over you.
There is a mysterious force which draws together those who constantly think of each other. Fools call it coincidence.
You are afraid to show a smile because you don't want people to overlook the hurt you have in your heart. You are so scared that they will start to believe that the pain you feel isn't real.
It doesn't matter how many haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of Chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends. You still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you would have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can ever convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet new people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, will eventually begin to fade.
I wish I lived in the Golden Age, giving it up on the Broadway stage. Hang with the rats and smoke cigars, have a break with Frank and count the stars. Dressed to the nines, with hair to match. Shiny jewels, casino cash. Tapping feet, wanna take the lead. A trip back in time is all I need.
And I should of let go when I had the chance, and it's sad to see you making friends with everyone you hated. And i had to learn the hard way that you were just a mistake, so I'm leaving. You tried to break this girl but all I did was bend. And I learned I'm better off without you in the end.
As humans we ruin everything we touch, including each other.
'When she smiles, it's got nothing to do with me. I'm not the one that sings her to sleep. And I've been talking to God asking for just a little help with you, but it's hopeless. It's not the first time but this one really carved it in. Tell your new friends that they don't know you like I do. I wanna see you again, I wanna feel it again.'
And nothing seems as strange as when the leaves begin to change, or how we thought those days would never end.
When you're out there, if you're ever wondering where I am, know that I'm by the ocean side somewhere. Know that I am sitting under a star sprinkled sky, miles away; but I hope it comforts you to know we'll forever be under the same sky every July night.
Personally, I don't like inherently happy people. I don't trust them. I think there's something seriously wrong with anyone who isn't at least a little let down by the world.
You can't imagine all the times that I tried to uncover the source of the tears that you cried. Let's throw it away and just go for a ride and you'd say okay but you'd keep it inside. And I tried, I tried.
I hate you for all the years I'll have to live without you. How can a heart hurt this much and still go on beating? How can I feel this bad without dying from it? I've bruised my knees with praying to have you back. None of my prayers have been answered. I tried to send them up to heaven but they're trapped here on earth, like bobwhites beneath the snow. I try to sleep and it's like I'm suffocating.I thought of you and where you'd gone and the world spins madly on.