Sunday, 19 August 2012
I know some of you wanted to see my tattoo... I'm the one of the right! It says "Will you live, or simply exist?" I've been through a lot this summer and this tattoo kind of sums up my experiences so far. I thought that living meant partying and drinking and all that stuff but it's not... I was just trying to get by, just trying to survive life. But there is more to life than just surviving, and drinking and partying isn't the definition of living. So, I'm learning how to live and to be happy with who I am and to learn from my past. I think everyone should ask themselves, will you live or simply exist?
Ugh. So I started college and I'm slowly adjusting... I'll expand on that on a later date. This post is dedicated to one of the greatest, strongest and most beautiful person I know; my lovely room mate Demi. I couldn't survive without you, kiddo.
Enjoy the post, don't forget to give me feedback por favor :]
It's complicated. I think when bad things happen - whether someone dies or you split up - you get to a point where it's just too hard to go back. There's so much lost. So many versions of the truth. So many versions of how things might've turned out differently. We all long for what could have been. For some people, it's just easier to move forward and forget.
"There is a difference between who we love, who we settle for, and who we’re meant for."
We are all unkind from time to time. We all do things we desperately wish we could undo. Those regrets just become part of who we are, along with everything else. To spend time trying to change that, well, it's like chasing clouds.
“People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like sacred roadmaps of their personal histories, diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving behind nothing but a scar. But some of them don’t; some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut’s long gone - the pain still lingers."
“Sometimes people are in love with the idea of being in love instead of being in love with the person they are with.”
That was what I feared most: that he just wasn't excited about us anymore - that something between us had altered irreversibly. And afterward, I started seeing the evidence everywhere: in the way he didn't sleep facing me anymore, or the way he'd stopped asking me the questions he used to need to know the answers to, the way he stopped needing to tell me things in order for them to count.
You can't just switch off your feelings because the other person did.
Her life was beginning to make sense again, although she couldn't say that she was enjoying it. But her mind was clear, and her heart was not constantly as heavy. Only when she thought about him. But she knew that in time, she'd survive it. She had done it before and would again. Eventually the heart repairs.
It's crazy I'm thinking just knowing that the world is round, and here I am dancing on the ground. Am I right side up or upside down?And is this real or am I dreaming?
To you, everything's funny, you got nothing to regret. I'd give all I have, honey if you could stay like that.
Sometimes there is nothing to be said. Sometimes nothing should be said. I just want to find someone who won't run away. Someone to look me in the eyes and tell me it's ok that things don't always go right. That this is how life works, and how it will always work. That it's not going to be easy. Today, tomorrow, the next day, but it will somehow get better.
People don't change. They modify. They adjust. Underneath, we are who we are. People just get better at covering up their flaws.
I believe in sleeping in. I believe in giving 100% when you only have 80%. I believe in jamming out by yourself in the car. I believe in kisses on the forehead. I believe in smiling until your cheeks hurt. I believe that you can have just as much fun sober. I believe in taking chances and making mistakes. I believe in having someone tell you that you’re beautiful. I believe in swinging on swings and running in the rain. I believe in miracles and random acts of kindness. I believe in saying hello to anyone and everyone. I believe in second chances. I believe that everyone’s lucky to be alive.
Some things are meant to be broken, but I won't settle for being one of them.