Tuesday, 17 July 2012
I'm getting by.
"I'm homesick all the time," she said, still not looking at him. "I just don't know where home is. There's this promise of happiness out there. I know it. I even feel it sometimes. But it's like chasing the moon - just when I think I have it, it disappears into the horizon. I grieve and try to move on, but then the damn thing comes back the next night, giving me hope of catching it all over again."
People think they know you. They think they know how you're handling a situation.But the truth is, no one knows. No one knows what happens after you leave them, whenyou're lying in bed or sitting over your breakfast alone and all you want to do is cry or scream.They don't know what's going on inside your head - the mind-numbing cocktail of angerand sadness and guilt. This isn't their fault. They just don't know. And so they pretend and they say you're doing great when you're really not. And this makes everyone feel better. Everybody but you.So you go back, you always go back to the last point when you were happy, and you hold on.
In this weird twisted way, I know you miss me liking you, not because I want to believe it's true, but because you'll never find a girl that can put up with you like I did; you'll never find a girl who will care as much as I did, because no one will waste all there love on someone like you, like I did.
I want to appreciate the times when moments are made into memories. I want to embrace them, cherish them, andnever forget that they come so few and far between. I know that wherever life takes me, those moments will alwaysfollow. They remind me of what's truly important. It's not just life, but living. It's the journey, the destination, and all the points in between
"Late at night, when all the world is sleeping I stay up and think of you and I wish on a star that, somewhere, you are thinking of me, too."
Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.
I like the feeling of always having someone chasing after me, wanting to win me over and constantly fighting for me. But in all honestly, they will never win me over because i have had my mind and heart set on him for way to long to ever give the other boys a second glance.
Live the life you want to live. Be the person you want to remember. Make decisions, make mistakes. If you fall, at least you tried.
Cry as much as you want to, but just make sure when your finished, you never cry for the same reason again.
I am not crying right now because i don't want you to leave. I don't - by the way. I am crying because I thought I could be the one who could change your mind. I guess I just thought that I was a good enough reason for you to stay.
I'm afraid of growing up. I don't want to get older and realize that not only did I donothing with my life, but I have no time left in which to do the things I'd want to do. I'mafraid of losing time, and of wasting it. I'm afraid of losing what I loved so much.
She's heartbroken. Completely. She sits in her room with the music up just like every other day, and no one is aware how much she hates her life, and how many tearsshe cries. No one asks her if she's okay. No one can really see how broken she is.
Sometimes we hurt more for what might have been than for what is.
- Carnal Innocence by Nora Roberts