Wednesday, 04 July 2012
So, I guess this is me figuring out what the best thing to do is. This isn't easy.
I... I just don't know. I'm trying to do my best and I have no one to blame but myself. It's just that, I want to know that I'm making the right decision. I want to know that I'm doing the right thing. I think I am but I'm afraid. It's just that things have built up and I have to face things, I guess. Ehh... We'll see how this goes.
I'm totally just rambling...
Sorry this post is a tad bit depressing and cynical but thats my current mood so I just went with it.
Enjoy and leave some love!
And my heart's not breaking, 'cause I'm not feeling anything at all.
We deny that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed. And most importantly, we deny that we're in denial. We only see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe, and it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while the lies start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth right in front of our faces.
Smokin' that cigarette, the girl doesn't care if it'll kill her anymore. She's the type of girl that's so broken she could just break down, but she has such a rush of adrenaline so often that she just loses it and breaks things. Poor girl, she'll so broken and nobody ever notices.
What was wrong with me? I had a decent life. I was healthy. I wasn't starving or maimed by a land mine or orphaned. Yet somehow, it wasn't enough. I had a hole in me, and everything I took for granted slipped through it like sand.
The best things in life don't happen unless you take risks. Risk yourself and throw your heart out onto the table. Be who you are and hope people accept you, and if they don't, too bad. Always be real, never fake. Smile when you're happy, cry when you're sad. Never hold emotions inside. Let yourself risk getting hurt. Let yourself try something new. Follow your heart and do what you feel is right, not what other people tell you to do. Fall in love, take a chance, and hope the other person feels the same. Love is a risk. It could bring either pleasure or pain, sometimes both. Life is a gamble and you never know what it'll bring. Live in the moment and don't dwell on the past. Find the good in everybody. Think positive and do positive. Break the rules and take the chance of getting caught
No matter how hard you try to forget him, you can`t. It`s the little things that mean the most, but break your heart all the same. It`s those times when a song comes on the radio and immediately you cry, missing him, wanting him, needing him.
I am going to need counseling. I lost my mind and still haven't found it. I used to be so well-rounded, but now I tiptoe on Hell's boundaries.
I think the words your stop yourself from saying are the ones that haunt you the longest. So say it to them. Or say it to yourself in the mirror, say it in a letter you’ll never send or a book millions might read someday. I think you deserve to look back on your life without a chorus of voices saying ‘I couldve, but its to late now.’ There Is a time for silence, there is a time for waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say, you’ll know it. I don’t think you should wait, I think you should speak now.
And I'm the one who loses in the end. So, I let you go, and I watch you leave, and I hold my breath so you don't hear me scream when you walk away. But the words are only in my head. It's not what I said that's keeping me awake, it's what I didn't say.
I never found out which was worse; the fact that you didn't care, or the fact that I actually did.
Magic is in all of us and in everyone who believes they can make beautiful things happen. It's in a first kiss, in fireworks, in running with your girlfriends down the beach at night, screaming into the sky. It's falling in love and falling down the rabbit hole. It's in your dreams and imagination. We can all use magic.
You can't leave everything to fate. If you do, you'll end up with nothing. Sometimes you have to create your own fate and other times follow it. The trick is to know when to do which.
You're not friends because you sit together at lunch, or talk on the phone, or have matching flip flops, or can recite each others wardrobes. You're best friends because when she smiles, a grin forces itself across your face. No matter how mad you are, when she cries, you instantly feel her pain and want to cry with her. When you look her in the eyes, you know there no one you could ever trust more, regardless of how many broken hearts you've had. Thats what it means to be best friends.
A wrong relationship will make you feel more alone than when you were single.
You are an expert at "sorry" and keeping the lines blurry. You're never impressed by me acing your tests. All the girls that you run dry have tired, lifeless eyes 'cause you burned them out. But I took your matches before fire could catch me, so don’t look now.
I’m shining like fireworks over your sad empty town.
Will you take a moment, promise me this, that you'll stand by me forever but if God forbid fate should step in, and force us into a goodbye; If you have children some day, when they point to the pictures, please tell them my name. Tell them how the crowds went wild, tell them how I hope they shine. Long live the walls we crashed through, I had the time of my life with you.