Saturday, 30 June 2012
I feel like I can never get anything right. I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
And I hope this makes you happy now; That the flame we had is burning out. And I hope you like your pictures facing down as even broken hearts may have their doubts.
You know what I think we are most afraid of? Not knowing. Not knowing whether it's all really worth it. Not knowing if you should give up or keep fighting. Not knowing why you do things you do; not knowing the purpose. It's like when you're little and you touch the stove and get burned, because you didn't really know that it was hot. Not knowing has always hurt us, from the very beginning.
"Believe me, I did not want that, 'cause I had a good life before you. Well, not good...but it was okay. Well, it was empty, actually, but at least I was blissfully unaware of how miserable I was. Where as now, 'cause of you, I'm acutely aware of how completely and totally unhappy I am. Thank you for that"
-Failure To Launch
“Lost love is still love, Eddie. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those sense weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it. Life has to end," she said. "Love doesn't.”
-The Five People You Meet In Heaven
The worst feeling is when someone makes you feel special, then suddently leaves you hanging and you have to act like you don't care at all.
Sometimes I feel sad, of course. Who doesn't? I read somewhere that the cure for sadness involves the continual discovery of the possibilities of life. I think that's true. I like life. I like discovering it's possibilities. That's what keeps me going.
'The big reason why folks leave a small town,' Rant used to say, 'is so they can moon over the idea of going back. And the reason they stay put is so they can moon about getting out.' Rant meant that no one is happy, anywhere."
-Rant: The Oral History of Buster Casey by Chuck Palahniuk
I hate the fact that I stayed with you even when I shouldn't have. I hate that I stood up for you even when I looked like an idiot. I hate that you don't even care. I hate that you said forever. I hate that you lied. I hate that you built me up and tore me up. I hate how when I said forever, i meant it. I hate how you controlled the relationship. I hate that I care so much. I hate that I still love you. I hate that I shouldn't. I hate the fact that you don't want to be with me. I hate the fact that I'm here without you. I hate the fact that you're there and you couldn't care less. I hate that I don't hate you. And it sucks.
"In the end, it's not the changes that will break your heart; It's that tug of familiarity."
-The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight
“What you have to decide... is how you want your life to be. If your forever was ending tomorrow, would this be how you'd want to have spent it? Listen, the truth is, nothing is guaranteed. You know that more than anybody. So don't be afraid. Be alive.”
-The Truth About Forever
I need my life to mean something. We all have ups and downs, mine just seem a little more frequent. I don't want to be stressed out over boys or school or friends anymore. I deserve to be happy; and I deserve someone who loves me; unconditionally. I know I'm no saint and I've made mistakes in my life. Everyone makes mistakes. I just need to be anywhere but here.
If anyone asks, I'll tell them we both just moved on. When people all stare I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk. Whenever I see you, I'll swallow my pride and bite my tongue, pretend I'm okay with it all, act like there's nothing wrong.
So just live, have wonderful times and make mistakes but never second guess where you've been, where you are, and most of all where you're going.
When it comes to relationships, people are always so scared of the what if’s that they forget the what is. They spend so much time thinking, “What if I get hurt?” and “What if it doesn’t work out?” that they stop thinking about the things that are already real. They forget the feeling they get when the person they love walks into the room and the excitement that rushes through them when the phone rings because it might be the person they are waiting to hear from. Never let the fear of what if stop you from letting yourself take a chance on love because what if this is the person you’re destined to spend the rest of your life with?
It's not the first time but this one really carved it in. Tell your new friends that they don't know you like I do. It's over. I want to see you again. I want to feel it again.
He was only twenty-five. He was young enough to miss his youth just as it was slipping away. The worst kind of loss - the one that is happening as you feel it.
-Thin Skin by Emma Forrest
There was a time I thought, that you did everything right; No lies, no wrong. Boy, I must've been out of my mind. So when I think of the time that I almost loved you, you showed your ass and I saw the real you. Thank God you blew it, I thank God I dodged the bullet. I'm so over you so baby good lookin' out.